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  • Writer's pictureDr Joanne Stuart

Dating and ways to survive it - Numbers Game

Dating is a numbers game

Dating is a numbers game.


There are about 8 billion people on the planet and so there are plenty of fish in the sea, you just need to find the one that is right for you. Unfortunately, that can be the most difficult part.


So, if it is a numbers game, then my top tips are the following:


  • Talk to people on social media. Make sure all your connections know you are single. Tell your friends to set you up on dates.

  • The more dating apps you go on, the better chance you have of finding ‘the one’.

  • Think about your social media or your profile on a dating app. Be honest about yourself. If we lie because we do not feel good enough this will cause problems when dating. It is better to find someone who likes us for who we are. Just because you don't like yourself, it does not mean that others will not like you.

  • Get someone to check your profile or social media. You want to be honest but also allow your qualities to sing. Often, we cannot see our qualities or interests and friends can help.

  • Joining groups can be a good source of meeting people. Many groups will have a social element attached. Sports groups, creative groups, travel groups, local groups all can have a social element.

  • A common experience is when individuals send multiple messages but get few back or get many from individuals they are not interested in. This is an experience that is shared no matter how successful or attractive we are. Focus on the end goal. If you get few messages back, then increase the number of messages you send.

  • Once you begin conversing with someone you like, set up a video call. Gauging if you like someone from messages is difficult. You might find a video call daunting but if you message someone over several weeks and then realise on the first meeting you don’t like them, you have wasted energy.

  • After the video call, set up a meeting. Initially just for a short time during the day. Set it up so you can leave early if you are not attracted to them and remember, if you are attracted to them, this does not mean they are right for you. Finding out if someone is right for you will take time.

Dating is a numbers game

Top dating tips:

Meet as many people as you can and if they are not right for you, move quickly on. Remember the right person for you is out just have to find them. So, if you send out lots of messages and get none back then increase your effort.

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